AN IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL PARENTS

*AN IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL PARENTS* 

 *THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF SHOUTING AT YOUR KIDS* 

Every child in our class admits that their parents shout at them. Some don’t just shout according to their children, they shout *‘very well. ’* And most of their parents when confronted with these findings, admit that they really shout on their kids and would love to unlearn shouting at their kids. 

This article will help parents to reform their minds and find appropriate help for their yelling issues.

First of all, let’s understand these basic facts...

*What makes you shout at your kids?*

I. *Bad behavior:* Sometimes kids put up behaviors that are worrisome, and you really want to make it clear that you won’t tolerate it.

II. *Frustration:* You have tried other means of discipline like talking and correcting, and that has not deterred your kids from the behavior. So you are angry and frustrated.

III. *Powerlessness:* Because you can’t control them or get them to behave well in front of people, you feel you are not living up to your parental responsibilities. I mean, what will other people think of you and your kids. This makes you powerless, so you try to yell to show them who’s in control.

IV. *Transferred Aggression:* Something is eating you up, you don’t know how to release it, so you shout at the kids. The truth is, you can’t even tell why you are shouting.

V. *You are an angry person, you have anger management issues:* You shout all the time on anybody including your kids. That’s just the way you are. Anger makes you powerful.

VI. *You have a military personality and a loud voice:* My mum says she shouts because she has a loud voice. She thinks she was born that way.

Well, whatever be the very reason you shout, studies have showed that shouting is one of the eight discipline strategies that can actually make behavior problems worse. And there are lots of reasons why it is not OK to yell at kids.

1. *Anxious kids:* 

I remember that I was a very anxious child while growing up. I was so anxious that whenever I heard mum's voice, I will virtually wince, and my heart will race. I went about always looking over my shoulder, being too careful less my mum yells.

2. *Frustrated kids:* 

I went about frustrated and depressed, because I couldn’t just know how to apply myself to make her stop yelling at me. I thought of running away constantly. 

3. *Damaged self esteem and self worth:* 

yelling can make a child think they suck at everything and they start thinking they are stupid or not good enough.

4. *It makes the problem worse:* 

when you shout at kids, they could tune your voice out, never taking anything you say. This makes you yell some more, which can make them disrespect you by talking or shouting back.

5. *They will still not learn what you want them to learn:* 

If by shouting you want them to learn how to manage themselves and attitudes, they will likely not learn it.

6. *They will feel unloved:* 

The easiest reason kids could think you shout at them is that you don’t love them at all. I mean if you love me you shouldn’t shout, you should be more understanding and explain yourself calmly.

7 *. It teaches them to shout too:* Not really knowing how to solve problems without shouting, they will do the one they know: *"shout".* 

Having established some truths about yelling, let’s talk about:

 *Things we should do instead of shouting* 

It's time we have some household rules!

Call everyone, explain why you don’t want to shout again, then make your family rules, with the kids contributing. Tape it where everyone will see it. That’s how we do in class.

 *Explain consequences:* 

This will befall any defaulter. List the consequence directly related to the offense.

 *Follow through with the consequence:* 

Don’t play favorites, don’t take bribes or please, no excuses. Don’t say tomorrow. Read the consequences and carry it through completely as agreed.

 *Teach problem solving:* 

I once asked a child, "what should I do to make you participate in class? ” She said, “let me sit near people who will play with me.” I did that and she flowed. Instead of yelling, “why can’t you always buckle your shoes?” Take time out and teach ‘how’ to buckle this shoe. Let all siblings gather to find a solution to a misbehavior.

 *Resist the urge to yell or nag:* 

After all this, you will still feel like shouting, resist it. Only yell in a sudden, urgent situation, like removing hands from a socket or running from danger.

 *Express feelings some other way:* 

Take for a walk and talk. Take a time out too. Write them a letter. Have an uncle talk, or let their teacher know about the behavior.

 *Validate feelings:* 

Most of the time kids are acting out of hurt feelings. Validate them. “I know why you feel this way. I felt this way sometime ago.” This is what I do when I feel like this.

 *Give attention:* 

Always talk about the day's weather, news etc. Listen to theirs too. This reduces attention seeking behavior.

 *Reward good behavior in your home:* 

They should earn a treat or a reward. They should earn time with dad, and maybe money, which can be exchanged for other privileges. You can now take away privileges in the case of misbehavior.

Hope this helps to relieve stress from the children this season. 

Thanks and God bless you and your families!

As school owners,we are parents too. LET US LEARN FROM THIS👆

YOU CAN ALSO POST ON YOUR PARENTS PLATFORMS.😀